an apologize fer being so heartless :{

me , my hubbub
were goin through many shits .
we're about hm almost 9 months being this close . nd i guess it's so common to have fights here nd there to pass the so-called-stage nd live in an upper stage as a closer couple .

hm , i guess i've lost so many skills in talking with written-words , considering i completely left my writing hobby fer abouuut , hm 2 and a half months ? quite a time-parade eh ?

ok , back again.
i used to talk shit to him
i used to do shit to him
i used to rule over him
i did mess the things in between up ,
(and you know i did think that i quited my sanity) .

i did prefer not to answer his phonecalls, i did not again laugh at his bad jokes , i did not again chase him over tickles he did, otherwise yelled and got mad ridiculously , i pushed him away when he tried to wipe my tears away,i got super-mad at how he broke promises over me eventhough those were something he couldn't predict, and again i did the same exact breaking-promises-thingy over him and insited him to take my plea, how bad huh ? i was not a human back there .

but days ago , i found out that i did those shits because of all the insecurities i felt over him . i , did not realize, that i'm in a real-damage-stage of feeling afraid of losing him. phew , i regret that i squeezed him too much that he couldn't even feel the love in between or even the sweet nothingness in between, i should punch-me-right-on-the-face for being such a heartless-lady fer that :(


i'm so sorry hub,
i did not see the things you come up for me,
i did not see the good things you ALWAYS come up with,
i did only see the flaws you made without really understanding that humans do flaws !
you are human , and i will only be with a human for sure .

i promise you not to make promises over anything,
but let me ensure us that we're working on things out, right?
i purple-heart you , xx


♥,
cynthia
psst, sorry again ...